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Sanitised and tested, but all for the good


I have been impressed by the speed at which the country has adopted the lockdown rules

I FIND it ironic that the price of Brent crude oil should have dropped more than 60% recently as the oil-producing nations wage their petty price war. 

Petrol prices will probably drop to an affordable low price just when we are in total lockdown and unable to use our vehicles for anything more than a furtive trip to the supermarket for bread and milk. 

All that cheap petrol will just be sloshing around unused until the dreaded coronavirus is under control. Then the price will increase again.

I travelled 1 600km through the Karoo just before the lockdown started – all of it using expensive petrol. Rats! 

I have been impressed by the speed at which the country has adopted the lockdown rules. 

I have a cousin who is in the throes of moving into a retirement village and I offered to transport a couple of chairs to her new home in my bakkie. 

When I arrived at the village security gate I was greeted by a large sign saying, “No Visitors.” 

This is understandable, as the elderly are said to suffer most severely from the virus. It was still a day before the start of the official lockdown, but they were obviously taking no risks. 

I explained that I wasn’t exactly a visitor. I was just delivering a couple of chairs. 

This set the security team into a bit of a spin. Phone calls were made, (I wondered if they were consulting Mr Ramaphosa) my vehicle was spritzed with sanitiser, my face was photographed, my driver’s licence examined and photographed, my hands sanitised and finally my temperature was taken. 

Only when the team were sure I was not running a fever did they allow me to deliver my load. 

Sadly, it will be weeks before I am allowed to visit my cousin and sit in one of those chairs. I hope the thorough security checks keep the villagers healthy. 

It’s good to see they’re not taking any chances. What did surprise me, once I was back in the shopping area, was the number of ATMs that had run out of money. 

Queues of bank customers milled about like lost sheep, not knowing what they would do without money in their pockets. Bank cards are very convenient for most transactions, but you can’t use a credit card to tip the chap who carries your groceries out to your car. 

I hear wine farmers are facing a dilemma. During the lockdown it is strictly illegal to transport alcohol anywhere. So the farmers can, technically, transport grapes from the vineyard to the cellar, but as soon as the juice starts fermenting it may not be moved. 

There could be bottlenecks rather than bottlings. 

Last Laugh

An irritated husband was complaining about all the money his wife spent on housekeeping. 

“I set aside a heck of a lot of money for groceries every month,” he grumbled. “And I’d love to know where it all goes.” 

“You really want to know where all the money goes?” said his wife. 

“You just go into the bathroom and stand sideways in front of the mirror and you’ll see exactly where it goes.”

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