OPINION: As bullying in schools and on social media reaches alarming levels, the DFA’s Danie van der Lith explores its devastating impact and asks: Are we, as parents and society, doing enough to protect our children?
BULLYING is a significant and escalating issue in South Africa, permeating both schools and social media platforms. The implications of bullying extend beyond physical harm, causing lasting emotional and psychological damage to young learners.
I recently came across a social media post about a story involving a 12-year-old boy from the Free State who ostensibly took his own life. According to the post, he had written a letter to his parents, explaining to them that he was tired of feeling like a “loser”, and of being bullied for having red hair and freckles, and for wearing a big shoe size. While the details of this story remain unverified, it reminded me of several news reports during 2024 concerning school learners who have tragically taken their own lives.
As a parent myself, my heart broke, and I realised that we don’t always understand what our children are going through, because things now are definitely not the same as they were 20 years ago.
Are we, as parents, doing enough to engage with our children and assure them that we’re there for them, or are we simply assuming they already know?
Tackling this issue requires a collective effort involving children, parents, educators, and the broader community.
THE PREVALENCE OF BULLYING
A study conducted by the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC) in 2015 revealed that 64% of Grade 9 learners in South Africa experienced bullying monthly. This figure highlights the widespread nature of the problem, with forms ranging from verbal and physical abuse to social exclusion and cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying, in particular, has become increasingly prevalent due to the widespread use of social media platforms like WhatsApp, TikTok, and Instagram. The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) reported that 1 in 5 teenagers had experienced cyberbullying, a form of harassment that follows them into their private spaces, leaving them with little to no escape.
THE EFFECTS OF BULLYING
Bullying has far-reaching consequences, especially for young children, as they are in critical developmental stages. Victims often experience depression, anxiety, and a profound sense of helplessness. Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, and disrupted sleep patterns are also common. Socially, children may withdraw from friends and family, while academically, their performance may decline due to fear and lack of focus.
Long-term effects can persist into adulthood. Studies indicate that individuals who experienced bullying as children are more likely to face challenges such as low self-esteem, relationship difficulties, and mental health disorders later in life.
For bullies themselves, the consequences are equally troubling. Children who bully are more likely to engage in risky behaviours, drop out of school, and encounter legal issues in the future.
WHAT CHILDREN CAN DO
Equipping children with tools to address bullying is vital.
• Speak Up: Encourage children to report bullying incidents to a trusted adult, such as a teacher, counsellor, or parent. Assure them that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step toward resolving the issue.
• Stay connected: Maintaining strong friendships can provide a support network that deters bullies. Bullies often target those who appear isolated.
• Practice confidence: Role-playing scenarios can help children respond assertively but not aggressively when confronted by a bully.
• Avoid confrontation: Children should learn to avoid physical retaliation and instead seek adult intervention to resolve conflicts safely.
• Online Safety: Encourage children to use privacy settings on social media, block or report harmful users, and avoid engaging with online bullies.
THE ROLE OF PARENTS
Parents are pivotal in identifying and addressing bullying.
• Open Communication: Create a home environment where children feel safe discussing their concerns. Regularly ask them about their experiences at school and online.
• Recognise Warning Signs: Look for changes in behaviour such as withdrawal, declining grades, or reluctance to attend school. Unexplained injuries or lost belongings could also indicate bullying.
• Collaborate with Schools: Work closely with educators and administrators to develop anti-bullying policies and ensure their effective implementation. Advocate for programmes that teach empathy, inclusion and respect.
• Seek Professional Help: If a child shows signs of anxiety, depression, or trauma due to bullying, consult a psychologist or counsellor for intervention.
COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT AND POLICY
The broader community and policymakers have essential roles in mitigating bullying. Schools should implement anti-bullying campaigns and teach conflict resolution skills. The government can allocate resources to train educators in recognising and addressing bullying effectively.
Social media companies also bear responsibility. Platforms must improve their monitoring systems, provide easy reporting mechanisms, and enforce strict consequences for cyberbullying.
HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
While the statistics are alarming, awareness and action can turn the tide. Parents, schools, and communities working together can create a safer environment where children can thrive. Education about the impact of bullying and promoting kindness and inclusion are foundational steps in eradicating this harmful behaviour.
Bullying is not just a personal issue – it is a societal one. By addressing its root causes and providing support to victims and their families, South Africa can move closer to ensuring that every child enjoys a safe and nurturing environment in which to learn and grow.
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