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Geriatric mutters


"Your dog doesn’t care a fig whether his food has appeared on TV, as long as it appears in his bowl.”

File Image: G. Crescoli on Unsplash

The advertising industry attracts some extremely talented and creative people who produce an endless river of entertaining ads.

I sometimes wonder whether they don’t occasionally become so creative they forget they are meant to be selling a product.

One of the most unforgettable ads in the last few decades was the one about the little boy filling his toy car with petrol.

“Glug-glue-glue, Whoosh!”

The look on his face as his toy races away was totally charming.

But, while I will remember the ad forever, I can never remember which brand of petrol was being advertised, so that rather negates the whole purpose of the ad, doesn’t it?

Another advertising technique which irritates me is the use of the phrase: “As seen on TV”.

I saw it again on an ad for dog food this week and developed a severe case of the geriatric mutters.

“Why should I buy anything just because it appeared on TV? I see many things on TV and don’t feel the slightest urge to buy them.”

I have seen Jacob Zuma on TV almost daily for the past month and still have not the slightest desire to own him. Or even to share a country with him.

None of the dogs I know would be influenced by a TV ad for dog pellets.

Dogs are not particularly finicky about what they eat but they rely on taste and smell for making a choice, neither of which are present in a TV ad. I don’t think animals associate pictures of food with the real thing.

So it seems pretty silly to tell potential customers: “Buy this brand of dog food because it was seen by humans on a little glass screen.”

Maybe an ad linked to a radio ad would be more effective if the radio ad featured a recording of the noise of a happy dog slobbering over a bowl of “Chewychunks in Grrrravy.”

Fido might cock an ear and make it clear he wants whatever the dog in that little box is having.

Perhaps the purveyors of dog food are so starry-eyed about their favourite TV soapie heroes that they reckon anything on TV must be wonderful.

I only have to point to my comment about JZ to see how ridiculous that is.

Creative directors should be reminded, “Your dog doesn’t care a fig whether his food has appeared on TV, as long as it appears in his bowl.”

Last Laugh

The boss decided to show his staff he was just an ordinary nice guy and went over to join a group of people standing chatting round the water cooler.

He told a joke and everybody except Charlie laughed uproariously.

He told another joke and again everybody laughed except Charlie.

“I see you don’t find my jokes funny,” the boss said.

“No, I don’t have to,” Charlie said.

“Why not?”

“I’m leaving the company tomorrow.”